We’ve been asking Poncho for a long time now, usually in a high-pitched tone followed by some grabs, “What kind of doggie are you?! What kind of doggie are you?!” She always declines to answer. Well the jig is up Poncho. Your secrets are no longer safe.
The decision to test Poncho’s DNA is not without controversy. She believes cultural kinship and tribal sovereignty determine what kind of doggie she is, not blood. She also has a life-long history of experimenting with her identity. Given the moniker “Ginger” at the Joshua Tree, CA animal shelter where she was adopted at the age of 6 months, (human years), she eschewed that name so as not to be confused with Ginger from the Far Side cartoon. She briefly went by the name “Clara” but soon chose “Fanny.” However, “Fanny” proved difficult to yell piercingly through the Joshua Tree desert as she chased after packs of coyotes. She finally settled on “Poncho.” Although named for the sleeveless article of clothing, it doesn’t hurt to be associated with a Mexican revolutionary when chasing packs of coyotes. Of course this also brings up gender issues, but again it doesn’t hurt to be thought of as male in this world. She finds it annoying and pointless to correct people that she is a “she” and not a “he” upon learning her name. What is “he” or “she” anyway? But she doesn’t want to deal with the entrenched ideologies of 2018, she'd rather continue on her walk. However, she is in discussions with some feminist think tanks about reclaiming the name “Fanny.”
Please email firstname.lastname@example.org or post your answer on Instagram with your guess on what kind(s) of dog Poncho is. Whoever names the type(s), of dog she is will win a rawhide dog bone cast in bronze. The winner will be selected in a random drawing from all eligible entries that contain the correct answer. The winner to be announced March 15, 2019.